The traditional British social etiquette of “forgetting” small debts between friends is undergoing a significant shift. New research suggests that the “awkwardness threshold”—the minimum amount a person feels comfortable asking to be paid back—has dropped to just £5 for many people across the UK.
Where a pint or a sandwich might once have been written off as a casual favour, approximately one-third of UK adults now report feeling increased pressure to chase small debts. This change in behaviour is being driven by the cumulative impact of several years of high inflation, which has left household budgets tighter and changed the way we value every pound.
According to data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS), while the rate of inflation has stabilised in 2026, household disposable income remains under sustained pressure. With the price of essentials remaining significantly higher than they were three years ago, “micro-debts” that once felt negligible now represent a meaningful portion of a weekly socialising budget.
The rise of the ‘digital request’
The way we handle these debts is also changing, largely due to technology. The research highlights a sharp increase in the use of “request money” features within banking apps, particularly among those aged 18 to 34. Features provided by digital banks such as Monzo, Starling, and Revolut allow users to send a direct notification for a specific amount, effectively bypassing the need for a face-to-face conversation.
For many younger people, these digital tools have reduced the social friction of asking for money back. Instead of an awkward “you owe me a fiver” text, a simple notification with a built-in payment link makes the transaction feel administrative rather than personal. However, for older generations, the sudden appearance of a digital “bill” for a small amount can still be perceived as a breach of social norms.
How to navigate the ‘social debt’ trap
Etiquette experts suggest that the best way to avoid damaging friendships over small amounts is to set expectations at the point of purchase. If you are paying for a group, a quick “I’ll get this and send a request round later” prevents any ambiguity about whether the payment was a gift or a loan.
When it comes to chasing an existing debt without appearing petty, experts recommend keeping the request casual and linked to a specific event. Phrases such as “Just clearing my tabs from Friday” are often more effective and less confrontational than asking for the money in isolation. There is also a growing consensus that if a debt remains unpaid for more than a month without a reminder, it becomes increasingly difficult to reclaim without causing friction.
While the £5 threshold is now the norm for many, the “social debt” rule remains: if a friend is genuinely struggling, the value of the relationship usually outweighs the value of the transaction. However, in an era where everyone is feeling the pinch, being the friend who always “forgets” their wallet is becoming a far more serious social faux pas than it used to be.
